We all feel like shite sometimes don't we.
And sometimes, that feeling shitesville is more epic than at other times. But I have to remind myself every time it happens to me, that only 'I' have the power to truly change the way I feel. That I'M the captain of my ship, and that I don't need to stay in the low feely feels forever.
The things is, it's a paper thin balance between allowing the feelings in order to heal and release them, and sinking into 'woe is me' town, where, as it suggests, I end up just wallowing and not getting anywhere.
So the key is to work out which is which and take it from there.
For example, I feel like I've had a scheister week this week. Where I have been faced with rejection every day. One door after another has shut; personally and professionally, and I haven't been able to work out why it's all going a bit Pete Tong. For one of the events, I had such high hopes for a project, I mean SUCH HIGH HOPES, but it all fell flat as a pancake and made me feel like a bag of smelly poo. But this was on Monday, and I was sure as sh*t sliding off a spade that I was not going to still be moaning about it on Friday.
So this is my strategy
1. TRUST In my case, there is a damn good reason why it didn't work out. The only thing is I just don't know it yet, but that doesn't mean it's not there. So I will trust, meditate, know that I am governed by a beautiful unseen force that only wants my best interests at heart, and allow myself to receive wisdom from my higher self that there is something different waiting for me, that a different door will open. I KNOW this is the truth, because in my quietest moments I can feel it. But I am an expert at forgetting.
2. RECOGNISE the truth. To be rejected makes my heart pretty darn sore, but I also know that I can't feel rejection, unless the rejection is already within me. What ultimately matters is that I don't reject MYSELF. I know from previous heartbreaks, that true healing is loving yourself unconditionally, unreservedly, despite the flaws and f*** ups. So they didn't want my work? Does that mean I love myself any less? Nope, not happening dude.
3. ALLOW the healing to occur. There is a BIG difference between wallowing in my hurt, and allowing myself to feel the hurt for release. Wallowing essentially means wandering about moaning and blaming everything/everyone else for what has occurred and going over and over it, feeling like a victim. Allowing the healing involves sitting quietly with my deeper self, allowing that soft, wounded part of me to surface and to speak to me. All the while treating her with deep kindness and compassion. Recognising my responsibility and accountability for what has happened and not being a victim. Letting the feelings rise up and through me, and inviting my spirit helpers to transmute them.
Ultimately, feelings just want to be felt, and when they have, they go on their way.
4. DO SOMETHING to raise my vibe. I'm a BIG lover of music. I drive my close tribe demented with shouts of 'ohhh merrr gaawwddd, this is my FAVOURITIST song EVA!' For the fifteenth time that hour. But it just shows that music has an incredible influence on me. So when I have done the above, I put on some damn good choonage and if I can, dance to it in my office/kitchen/lounge, wherever will have me. For reasons I don't know this song never fails to change my mood:
The original song is 'This Must be the Place' by Talking Heads, but I love this version:
But it doesn't have to be music, walking in nature has the same effect, in fact, this is brilliant at getting me back in touch with the grand scheme of things, the bigger picture. Being told 'Ach lass, f*** off, yer shite' this week (OK, so that's not what was actually said, but you know, if FELT like that). Walking in nature reconnects me to a perspective where really, does anything matter? We're eternal, limitless beings, living an incarnation that is a blink of an eye in our soul's journey. Am I alive? Yes. Am I loved? yes. Do I have a roof over my head? Yes. You get the picture. Walking with trees reminds me just how blessed I am and how little the day to day crappola matters.
Smudging also helps massively, as does watching something uplifting (avoiding Murder Inc. or whatever the latest gorefest on Netflix is, at all costs.) Watch something loving, funny, grounding.
So to recap
1. Allow the crappy feels, avoid shoving them down with Netflix and a bar of Dairy Milk, or do this, but with full consciousness that you're escaping for a while, promising yourself to do the work when you're ready.
2. DO THE WORK! Feelings can't rise up and through you without your permission ~ be brave, be courageous, be the wild woman/man that you are and dive deep into the feels. The results of truly confronting your shadow is the best thing that will ever happen to you.
3. Be kind at all times. Be compassionate. If you saw a wounded animal, would you kick it in the guts? NO! Then why kick your wounded self in the guts? It won't get you anywhere. Love yourself above all else. Remember, you can only feel rejection if you're already rejecting yourself.
4. A good smudge fixes most things. Get your sage out, your mugwort, you lavender and burn the blazes out of it, filling your auric field, your room, your house, your chakras. Cleanse, cleanse, cleanse.
5. Know that there is another day coming, another door that will open, another chance to be alive. Revel in it, appreciate it, and recognise that YOU are all you ever needed.
I'd love to hear what YOU do to get back into your vibe and release the hurty feels?